The Bliss of Death, the Suffering of Life
by DanielNieves
Summary: AU Season 3. After Lucas took Peyton outside, Karen runs in changing life in Tree Hill as we know it. Bit's of Leyton involved as Lucas suffers the consequences of Jimmy's decision.


The Bliss of Death, the Suffering of Life

Daniel Nieves

A/N: Just a one shot that may turn into a full length fic if I get enough positive reviews.

I

"_If I told you I loved you, will you hold it against me?"_

Lucas didn't know what to think, he was scared beyond his wits, their was a shooter inside the school, but above all, what scared him the most was the inner turmoil running rampant through his brain. Peyton Sawyer told him she loved him… him Lucas Scott, the guy who had broken her heart once already.

She was limp in his arms, motionless. A bullet had pierced the soft flesh of her leg, and left her sprawled on the library floor, bleeding heavily.

"_I want to be that guy for you." "I want it all."_

His very own words to her. It felt like a lifetime ago, after his return to Tree Hill, he'd been so caught up in his romance with Brooke Davis that he'd forgotten that at one point, he had thought she was the one for him. But then she'd been there for him this year, after he'd saved Dan, his bastard of a father, and after he'd been pining for Brooke all summer, she stuck with him thick and thin.

He hadn't thought she'd fall for him again, he was still getting over Brooke. He had forgiven her for sleeping with Chris Keller, but the pain was still there. That pang in his chest hadn't gone away, nor the feeling of betrayal that left a bitter taste in his mouth at the very though of the idiot sleeping with _his_ Brooke.

Did she really think a bunch of letters she hadn't sent him over the summer was going to make him forget?

For weeks as he tried to get over her, that night was all he could think about. Her and Chris Keller naked, in one bed, while he'd been turning down Rachel for her sake, so he could be that guy she desperately wanted him to be.

But now, all he could think about was Peyton's ill timed confession and the kiss that followed thereafter. She had thought she was about to die, she still could, and she let him know how much she cared before she did.

That kiss. It was seared into his mind, imprinted itself into his cerebellum just as her lips imprinted themselves onto his. How could he forget that now? Her soft, pink, succulent lips pressed against his as she kissed him goodbye. Her smell, her taste was washing all over him now, threatening to make him forget about Brooke.

But he had to stop thinking about it. He had to save Peyton, more now than ever. He couldn't let her die after she dropped the love bomb on him, so he trekked forward, carrying her unconscious body in his arms, hoping Keith would be alright as he finally pushed open the front doors of the school.

There was a S.W.A.T. team surrounding the front entrance, M-16's drawn and ready to fire. "I'm just trying to save her." Lucas shouted, letting them know his intentions. He saw Karen, his mom running up to him.

"Where's Keith?" Karen demanded.

"Still inside with Jimmy." Lucas replied, handing Peyton over to the closest paramedic so she could get medical attention.

Before he could even think, his mother had run back into the building in which Jimmy and Keith was facing off. He was torn apart, he couldn't leave Peyton alone, he had to make she was safe, but his mother and Keith were in the building.

What was he supposed to do?

"I'll go with her to the hospital, Lucas." Brooke Davis, his ex-girlfriend popped into his view in timely fashion. She had a forlorn expression to her, her gorgeous eyes threatening to burst into tears.

Once he saw Brooke climb into the ambulance with the EMT's, then he decided to run back inside the school, to save his family.

Before he could move an inch, a gunshot ran out, resonating throughout the school. Lucas' eyes widened fearfully, before watering up in worry as he tried to push his way through the massive crowd gathered up outside trying to see what was happening.

"Oh my God. Someone's shooting inside." People were screaming all around him, and with exhausting effort, he managed to weasel his way through them, tears streaming down his cheek.

His mother and uncle were still in there. So were Nathan and Haley.

As he neared the door, he was tackled to the ground. "You can't go in kid." Someone was screaming at him, and more bodies held him down, refusing to let go of their death grip.

"My family's inside. Let me go!" Lucas shouted, his throat hoarse. He was screaming, unintelligibly at them, but he couldn't help it. He had to get in.

He kicked, he screamed some more, and then it slowly started to fade to black.

"Oh my God, he's going into cardiac arrest, someone get an EMT."

Darkness consumed him, but not without a fight.

II

He awoke.

He knew he was in a hospital, mainly because it wasn't his bed he was laying in, the white gown he was wearing, and that stench that always permeated the air in every hospital. The smell of death, as if people were dying all around him.

His eyes hurt to open, but he managed to keep them open, and light burned his retinas as someone opened the door. He tried to stand up but his chest hurt, unbearable pain racked through his chest making him wheeze and lay back down on the bed.

"Mr. Scott, you're awake. Please try not to move, the surgery won't be easy on your body." An unidentified person called out.

"What surgery?" Lucas croaked out.

"As you know Lucas, you had a cardiac arrest outside the school. The environment in which you were combined with the stress caused your heart to fail. Here's the hard part, you needed a new heart, and only two people were compatible. One was your uncle Keith, and the other was your mother. I don't know how to say this, but they're dead Lucas, they were shot and killed inside the school by the shooter." The doctor explained.

Lucas was in so much pain he couldn't move, but even if he could, he wouldn't of. The shock of finding out both of the people he looked at as parents were dead was tearing into him. Tears sprung to his eyes, falling down his cheeks. He tried to open up his mouth and speak but his throat couldn't produce saliva. It felt like he was choking, and a sob escaped his lips.

"I'm so sorry Mr. Scott. It was the only way to save you. We took your uncle's heart and put it into you, it's the only reason you're alive." The doctor continued.

Lucas took it all in. Tears were still streaming down his cheeks. "You should have let me die." Lucas whispered, his eyes burning with salty tears. "I should have died with them." Lucas spoke softly.

"They loved you Lucas, it's what they would have wanted." The doctor finished gravelly.

"We'll never know, will we?" Lucas replied with a tone of finality.

The doctor closed the door, after giving him a small wave. Lucas took it all in, and then he sobbed, cried, and screamed until he passed out again.

III

A month passed, and Lucas buried his true parents in the cemetery. A month passed of Lucas grieving, of him being blindsided by memories everywhere he went. Every time he passed the River court, he would remember Keith teaching him how to play basketball. He passed by Karen's Café and he remembered him and his mother in the kitchen making muffins and preparing coffee for the customers.

It was a long month.

What he hated more than all that was the pity people gave him. It made him want to scream until the void in his heart was filled. There was a black hole where his heart used to be. People would offer their condolences and their sympathy looks like if any of them understood what it was like.

None of them knew.

Frustrated with everything, he headed back to his house, taking the long way around to avoid Skills, Mouth, Nathan, Haley and anyone else ready to offer up advice about how it'd be okay.

It'd never be okay.

Jimmy Edwards took away everything with two bullets, he had killed Keith, his mother, and the baby in their wound. Three lives, two bullets. Then he killed himself, unwilling to face life after taking three others.

Fucking coward.

He hid in his room, grabbing a bottle of Keith's scotch that he thought he'd hid from Lucas and a pack of Marlboro's he had snatched at the convenience store. Pouring himself a Scotch on the rocks, he sat at his desk and turned on his labtop, before beginning to write, drink and smoke the night away.

It was close to midnight, and there was a hesitant knock on his door. Lucas bolted up from his chair, before thanking God he had left the lights off. That way they would get the hint after he didn't open the door.

But curiosity got the better of him and he saw the one person he avoided the whole time, more than anybody else.

Peyton Sawyer.

He deliberately went out of his way to not see her. Whether it was him playing hooky and taking time to grieve or simply not showing up to practice or to the games, he had not seen her since the hospital. But he knew if he didn't see her soon, she would keep hunting him down, and when she found out he was leaving Tree Hill for good, she'd made him want to stay, so he had to get it over quick.

He opened the door softly, and swung it open and took in her features. Short, blonde hair, and passionate green eyes peered into his blue orbs. "Hey Lucas. Hiding out much?" She asked gently, trying to gauge his reaction.

He almost felt a ghost of a smile returning to his features. The familiar banter was almost enough to tug his lips into a smirk, but he fought down the urge. Instead he looked at her quizzically, before replying, "What are you here for Peyton? Here to tell me you love me." Lucas shot back cruelly, watching her face frown in disappointment.

Totally expected.

Maybe now she'd leave him alone.

He didn't expect the slap that followed. There was a fiery blaze in her green eyes, and her lips quivered in anger. "You think you're the only one whose hurting Lucas?" she demanded. "I loved Keith and Karen too, dammit."

"You don't understand." Lucas replied feebly, before backing up.

She wasn't going to give in without a fight.

"Don't understand what Lucas. What about my dad always being out to sea? Or what about my mom who died, and then I get another one for her to die too." Peyton accused.

"Shut up, I don't want to hear it." Lucas snapped. "This last month has been the worst, everywhere I go, memories surround me. Of them, how am I supposed to breathe in a world where their dead? Jimmy killed them all…" Lucas snarled at her, growling low.

"I know… let me be there for you. I want to be that girl Lucas. It took me a long time, but I realized that I love you, and that wasn't me being deathly delusional. Let me be there for you." Peyton begged, stepping inside and grabbing the lapels of his shirt and pulling him flush to her.

"Peyton…I'm sorry." Lucas begged, wrapping his arms around her back, as his tears spilled from his eyes, dropping down to her hair, the warm scent of vanilla tingling his senses.

"I know it hurts…" Peyton whispered, and he pulled back, their lips centimeters from each other.

"I need you, Peyton Sawyer." Lucas pleaded, and how could she deny him. She never had been able to, not really.

Their lips collided with animalistic need, and she took dominance, plundering his mouth with her tongue, pushing him against the wall. He replied in turn, taking from her all the love she could muster from him, and they were entangled in each other, clothes coming off by force.

They ended in his bed, lips bruised with their need. "I love you, Lucas Scott." Peyton whispered fearfully.

"I love you too, it just took me so long to realize it." Lucas replied.

Their lovemaking was soft and gentle. The intimacy of it all heightened their senses until their orgasm hit in a rocketing crescendo, their reckless need for each other overriding caution, until they knew no more.

Lucas awoke first, and untangled Peyton's leg from his waist, walking over to his desk after grabbing the bag he'd pack yesterday before her arrival. Grabbing a pen and pad, he quickly wrote her a note.

_Peyton,_

_I'm sorry for what I have to do. I'm hurting so much right now that I just can't stay in Tree Hill right now, I have to grieve alone and get over what's happened. But know this, I do love you, and I'll be back eventually, but I've lost so much that I can't deal right now. I'm so sorry, please forgive me for what I have to do._

_Lucas,_

_PeytonxLucas- TLA(True Love Always)_

Grabbing his bags and the keys to Keith's Mustang, he headed outside to a dark, new world. But before he left, he turned around and took one last look at the house he grew up in, the house that housed the girl he did love in some way. Throwing his bags in the back seat, he hopped in, pressed in the clutch, and cranked the ignition, roaring the engine to life.

Shifting into first gear, he peeled away, leaving Tree Hill, not knowing that in Peyton's womb, a life had sparked, replacing the lives that he had lost.


End file.
